I'm too stressed. As evidenced by my uterus of doom.
I went for my check up (going every two weeks now woot!) and even though my appointment was at 2:15 and I didn't get called in until 3:20 I was actually not even impatient or upset because I made friends with the other pregnant ladies in the waiting room.
How's this for an ice breaker "HOLY COW!!! YOUR BABY IS TRYING TO ESCAPE!"
Said by the 9 year old daughter of the woman across from me in the waiting room. Lesson number one on how to tell if you have a hyperactive baby apparently; if the people sitting 8 feet away from you can see your child beating you to death. Love it! So this comment lead into "How far along are you" etc and I actually had a really awesome time with waiting room lady; I never got her name. :(
So then I get called, and I get weighed and I get my first "You suck as a mother" moment of the evening...
Nurse- "You didn't gain any weight"
Me- "No way, I've been eating like a horse"
Nurse- "For real...I know math."
Then I sit down for vitals. HELLLOOOOO hypertension! My bp was 150/90
There's my second "YOU SUCK!" moment, as the nurse insinuates that I'm eating too much, therefore getting too much sodium.
For real??? How can I not be eating enough.....yet eating too much all at the same time. Suck it nurse.
So then the doctor comes in and says "You are a horrible human-pod!" Or something along those lines.....
Ketones...they were all up in muh peepee...not cool. Means I'm wicked dehydrated. Which made no sense since I'd been having horrible braxton hicks contractions and had intentionally UPPED my water intake, and had already chugged a crap ton before I even got there. AND the babies heartrate was high.
So to sum it up, no weight gain, dehydrated, high bp, high fetal heartrate=guess who has two thumbs and gets to go to the hospital for fluids and fetal monitoring??? This chick!!!!!
[Jack Black gets the joke]The highest my blood pressure spiked was 190/79, which is....let's be honest, pretty crappy. So they gave me a liter of fluid for the dehydration, Baby E is great, very active and his heartrate was back to normal once I finished the fluids. They put me on light bedrest for the weekend (I'm allowed to get up and move around every few hours) and told me to sleeeeep. Even gave me some fancy sleeping pills to take (which I won't be taking because I'm paranoid,) and I'm told to check my blood pressure twice a day. I go back to the office on tuesday for a follow-up. Soooooo obviously I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed! (Doctors orders!) No picture for this one...I don't have any because I'm lame.