Thursday, January 27, 2011

Uterus of Steel.

I'm trying to be good and update at least once a week (and I missed last week)....which is hard to do when your life is about as exciting as....well it's just so boring I can't even think of an adequate analogy okay?

The Jets don't get to go to the Super Bowl which means there's a dark cloud hanging over the Edwards home at present. Baby E will not be wearing his official Jets onsie home from the hospital as he may shrivel from shame before we can get him home. ;)

I would looooove to not mention heaving in one blog post. But, SORRY! I got all cocky and thought I didn't need to take my meds anymore, so I didn't get my script refilled.....after two days of misery I decided that I'm a moron, and I now will be taking them religiously. I'm officially one of those pathetic weiners that will be sick the entire pregnancy and I've accepted it!! I only have a "few" more weeks of the second trimester left and supposedly morning sickness "can come back" in the I will be vomiting until Baby E makes his grand appearance. Lets just say I've been blessed in other departments because as far as all other pregnancy stuff goes I'm a rockstar!!! If it weren't for endless vomity-ness I wouldn't even know I was pregnant. (so far)  -The end-

OH! But lets talk about something exciting shall we??? I FINALLY am feeling movement....I was depressed and thinking that perhaps my uterus was plated with steel and that I would never feel "flutters" "kicks" anything...then all the sudden I feel "things" and find myself having an internal dialogue of "was that a kick or gas?" Never in my life did I think that I would ever have to ask myself that question; "Foot or fart?"

oh that's right....I went there.

Needless to say! It was a foot....because at the 21 week mark Baby E decided to upgrade from granny-style Tai-Bo flutters to Jui-Jitsu style ninja flips and kicks. He's a kung-fu master.

I always get the "Isn't it soooo amaaaaazing????" Question. And to be's the most awesome, crazy and weirdest thing I ever felt in my life....I've yet to say "Awwwww" I kept saying "That's the strangest feeling EVER." That's not saying it's NOT's just really weird too!

My only awww moment was when he decided he didn't like me poking around on my stomach and kicked my hand away. HELLO! 

Lets end this post with an obligatory belly shot and a pregnancy survey :) This shot is 21 weeks exacly...I think, and don't be judging....the "junk" room is the only room with a full length mirror.



How far along?  22 weeks on Saturday (21 weeks 5days for those of you that don't like math)

Total weight gain/loss: as of January 6th I had gained one pound!! WOOT!

Maternity clothes? Yes, I caved at the 19 week mark and bought a Bella Band and a couple Maternity pants and two shirts. I refuse to buy any more!! That crap's waaaaaay too expensive!!!

Stretch marks? Not unless you count the ones from puberty!

Sleep: Is very stange right now! Sometimes I could sleep for two days straight, sometimes not at all.

Best moment this week: getting my hand nudged, and feeling like there's a squirrel in there.

Movement: See above!!! LOTS OF MOVEMENT!! :) Finally!

Food cravings: I hate food :( I wish I craved more stuff!

Gender: Boy!

Labour signs: ummm no

Belly button in or out? Innie, I was 100 % sure it would stay that way due to it's cave like nature, but I can actually push on it a little...and it inverts. CREEEEPY

What I am looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat again at the next appointment, and for this morning sickness to stop kicking my ass!!! Please?!?!?? No? Okay then....

Milestones: Finally feeling movement after being convinced that I had a uterus of steel and would never feel Baby E, finding out the gender, Feeling that one little itty bitty kick on my hand :)


Saturday, January 15, 2011

I've been feeling crafty.

Blame it on the hormones.
I've been feeling especially crafty. After I saw someone on my facebook page (Chelsea to be exact!!) made a sock monkey...I got an itchy sewing finger to try it on my own!

After a trial run with a pair of Dustin's old worn out socks, I traveled to the store and bought boo-koos of socks to make cute ones!!!

The first victim was Allison, my sister-in-law! She chose the pink and green socks and away we went. The end result although slightly creepy (but aren't all sock monkey just a little strange?), was very cute!

The blue and white striped socks are being saved for Baby E, I'll post pictures when I get those done, and I have plans to make little Elaina (a friends oober cute child) one as well....both of these will NOT have buttons for eyes, as they pose a choking hazzard, so I'm still in the process of trying to think of ways to do the eyes without them looking creepy as all get out!!!!! (Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!)

Amazingly enough there are hundreds of animals you can make with socks! Who knew. This kid is making me creative....

I also found a pattern for making baby leg warmers!!! Woot!  Good thing I'm having a boy or I'd be whipping out the bow patterns. The problem with my craftiness is that it's intermittent. I'll usually spend an entire day at the sewing machine or on a scrapbook, etc...and then never touch it for another month. Maybe I should ration the crafty? Who knows. All I know is I don't think I could ever get to the point where I could steadily sell things I make, as I don't do it often enough to make a profit!

What else did I do this week?!???
[epic duck face]

I hung out with my brother and we compared belly sizes.

I think I win :)

[and this is the part where you say "OMGEEE YUR HUUUUGE!!!!!" and I pinch your face off!]

oh and I also just realized I didn't have anonymous commenting in place on my bloggarrooooo. So now you DON'T have to have a gmail address to comment....I don't think. Or maybe you do....just try it!


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Congratulations!! It's an.....exhibitionist!!!

Allow me to repent for my dirty evil ways....of building up excitement for my super gender scan and then never posting another update.

Let me explaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiin!!!!!!

On the day of the big scan-our interwebs died. This led to a large debate with Time Warner....mostly about how they are stupid. Long story short we ended up switching to Verizon, and it just got re-established.

I was always terrified that I would be the poor woman with the child that kept their legs clinched tight in utero, never giving a glimpse of the goods, that my baby would be terrified of medical nudity in the way that I always was (the thought of disrobing monthly at a doctors appointment was enough for me to prevent pregnancy as a young adult.) I was convinced that I would drive myself crazy for 9 months wondering if there was a tiny doodle or a ding-dong (yes I'm four) growing in my uterus and I would be forced to buy all gender neutral clothing. (I sound so vain!)

But it's true.

So.....anybody ever seen Varsity Blues??? (This has a point I promise). If you have, and I'm not just sleep deprived, there's a point in the movie where the old men in the diner are discussing the shenanigans of the drunken football players the nights before. At some point in the conversation the phrase "Weiners?!?!? Pressed against the glass?!?!?" Gets uttered.

Just "marinate" on that.

Here I am, all excited, trying to not act like the ultrasound tech attempting to push the ultrasound wand through my stomach and into the table below isn't at all uncomfortable, she mutters "I think I see boy parts."

and that's it! No "It's a Boy!!!" nothing. I start to panic because I'm thinking "Lady, I can't go to Old Navy and annihilate the clearance rack on a "I think."

About that time Baby E decides he's tired of playing mind games.

Hence the phrase "Weiners....pressed against the glass?!?!?!?"
It looked like my son decided to moon us by pressing his butt against a flat pane of glass....nice. I'm having an exhibitionist! A BOY exhibitionist!!

Not a prude like mommy

Is it weird to say that I feel awkward showing my sons 2-D goods on the internet??? Because I kinda do! Ah, let's compromise with a cute foot shot!!!!

And lets just add one more with a disclaimer....I love this baby more than anything!!! I sometimes get scolded for my laissez faire, sarcastic view on pregnancy. But why should me being pregnant be any different than anything else in life. I refuse to be one of those pregnant women that change everything about their personality simply because they're irritates me.

Now that that's out there.

Doesn't anybody else on the planet think that a front shot of the baby's face on ultrasound looks like Skelator from He-Man???

ADMIT IT!!!!!!

and then I'll admit to you that this is the only time I've ever looked at Skelator and said "AWWWWWWWWWWWW!"


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Two days and 3 1/2 hours...but who's counting right?

Things are looking up on the homefront. I'm finally managing to be excited about being pregnant!! I don't think I had "unrealistic expectations" but I wasn't expecting things to be quite the battle that they have been in the past 10 weeks. I was always aware that pregnancy was not all baby kicks and belly pics. But I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of headaches, back pain, heartburn, puking, and a lot of other things that I won't blog about because I'm a "laaayddeeee."

This isn't saying that I was expecting pregnancy to be a breeze, because I WASN'T. So don't you "I told you so-ers" even open your fat little mouths! Actually, never once did I expect it to be "easy," but I certainly don't think that anyone expects to be hospitalized and the other things that I've experienced, so I think my feelings are normal and perfectly understandable. Now that this Dr. Phil moment is over...

Onto the fun part of my post.

One thing I was NOT made aware of is that apparently people take pregnancy as an open invitation for insults. Old women think that "You're having a girl because your rear-end is soooo wide" and "Your nose is spreading out, must be a BOY!" are perfectly acceptable comments to make to a perfect stranger once they find out there's a tiny human nesting in your abdomen. If you didn't know that I was pregnant would you randomly walk up to me and say "WOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH huge butt! How's it going?" Or "Hey big nose, how's the weather?"

I don't walk up to random people and tell them they're huge. You shouldn't either. The next time someone tells me I'm huge and must be carrying twins I'm just going to say "No....I'm just really fat and I had finally made a breakthrough in therapy about accepting my weight problem...thanks for setting me back 3 months." Then just watch them get uncomfortable and then try to stammer their way out of it.

That might seem mean....but if you don't want me to make you feel like jerk, then maybe you shouldn't make me feel like the Goodyear blimp. Deal??

In other news, my brother is coming in from Norfolk tonight! Even though I won't get to see him until Thursday probably. But thursday is also the BIG DAY!!!! It's ultrasound day!! WOOT! Time to see if I'm toting an xx or an xy, hamburger or a hotdog, sausage-fest or a taco party!!!

I have no new pics so I leave you one of Leia being confused by my old laptop.

"I confused!! Where is key for Beggin' Strips?!?!?"


Monday, January 3, 2011

So now that we're up to date lets talk about crappy luck!

So if you read the last two updates you know that I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (Google it). Which due to its long worded-ness and my laziness will hence forth be referred to as HG.

So, I was diagnosed with HG after my lovely ER trip and subsequent hospital stay and this caused the doctors to get a little more serious about medications and the meds were actually working. I was thrilled! I can handle puking once daily, I can even handle being in a constant state of nausea! YES!!!

So I was finally allowed to return to work after 12 days off where I did nothing but lay around and feel sorry for myself.

It was wonderful! Worked my first shift back, no problems. Feeling good, meds are doing their thing!!! This is wonderful! I AM able to function like a normal human being!!!!!

Then I go back on Sunday for my second shift as a normal human.
My belly starts to cramp on the way biggy.
By the time I get to work, these "cramps" are taking my breath away...not good. They're also waxing and waning in intervals of 4-5 minutes and they are PAINFUL!!!!

SO, thinking I'm just having some GI issues I head to the bathroom....where I proceed to curl up in a ball, cry, and
And then the pain gets worse...
and I vomit again..
and I try to hide in a corner until it all goes away. But you can't do that when you're a nurse...people FIND YOU....

and they made me go to the ER where I'm told....

get this....

I have a stomach virus.

I'll just let the irony of that one sink in for a little while....
Yea....I know.

 Apparently there's a nasty GI bug floating around where the victims have horrible abdominal cramping, vomiting and *cough cough* "other things." So I get sent home...and told to stay home until the 4th....
and I cry, because I don't want to live under a bridge and hospitals don't pay you to be a patient.

So I go home, and I whine, and I freak out, and I call my boss. And I feel better, because she tells me I'm free to make up my two missed shifts so that I will NOT be living under said bridge any time soon.

Isn't that sweet? Yay!

So I'm 18 weeks and two days now, and if I can get over this GI bug I think I'll actually be able to return to work and NOT miss anymore days barring any more unforseen catastrophes.

Woe is me, do you feel sad for me yet??? *sad pouty face*
I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude because no matter how sick I get, or how poopy I feel at the end of it all, I get a really really great consolation prize *smiley face!!!*

This was taken a few days ago, but I'm pleased to annouce that even after losing 6 more pounds, I've developed a "bump!" WOOT!

Don't mind my convict shirt...It's one of the few that still fit over my expanding belly now.


And again!

I realize that I am, indeed a weiner. And I'm posting two updates in one day. I just thought reading two moderately sized posts would be easier than reading two ginormous, novel-ish posts.

So here's the rest of the baby updates!!


Morning sickness!!!! ARGGGHH!!!!
I have been informed that when you're an infertile and you magically get a miracle pregnancy out of nowhere that apparently you're not allowed to complain about being sick.
So, if that bugs you then kindly skip the next paragraph because I'm about to whine!! OH NOES!

SOOO SIIIIICK!!!! Does not even begin to cover it. I think my husband might be considering that I am possessed by zee devil. On this day I'm puking my guts up and can't even manage to take a shower without having to take a break to yak....I'm sick, okay! After I clog up the shower, hubby patiently waits for me to crawl in the back of the car with my pillow and blanket and we head to the doctor while I lay in the back seat and moan like a pitiful weiner....mind you this is WITH anti-sickness meds; Zofran to be exact with everyone claims is a "miracle drug." NOPE! No miracle drug for Manders!!! You used up all your miracles conceiving this little no miracle cure for you! Sorry!!  So I get to the doctor and she says "Hey, you look like crap!" And I say "thanks" and she says "Here's some phenergan...stop puking in muh trashcans and go home"

Now for those of you who only want to read happy, non-whiney stuff. We got to actually HEAR the heartbeat for the first time! Dustin got teary eyed and I got a little weepy....but mostly just grinned from ear to ear. Being sick sucks but maybe if I walk about with a doppler stuck to my tummy so I can constantly hear the heartbeat I'd be in a better mood? That's not an option??? Okay then....


Officially in my second trimester!! WOOT! No real milestones for this date, still pukey still losing weight, still PREGNANT!!!!! Which is the most important :)


I had been feeling good for the two days prior to my appointment (only threw up once each day!! WOO!) and got cocky and bragged! Heard the heartbeat again, 160 an it sounded like a little drummer in there! The doctor even agreed to let me get my anatomy scan a little early so I could find out boy/girl while my brother is in town!!! Yay for good news!



Merry Christmas! This morning started out like the last few others, after shooting my mouth off at the doctors office on the 21st about how "AWESOME!" I had been feeling I proceeded to start getting sick again that night (the 21st)...a lot, and it continued.

Then it just got worse, and worse, and worse! Ew!
I was originally scheduled to work Christmas night and the two nights afterward (The joys of being a nurse) Went to breakfast, and before I could even attempt to finish it, I had already thrown it back up. Have you ever drank water and then thrown it up while it was still cold???? New experience for me too....
So I shrug it off, take more meds, lay down to take a nap....then get up to get sick, take more meds, lay down for a nap.....finally sleep a little...and wake up feeling like I had been hit by a truck!!

Long story short I ended up calling in to work, which is a GINORMOUS no-no on a holiday, the supervisor advises me that I should probably go to the ER if I don't want to get in trouble....
Little does SHE boots are already on, and hubby has the car running because we're already heading that way.

A little of fluid and some IV zofran later (About 5-6 hours) I'm heading back home with directions to call my OB on monday. I have been "officially" diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. No fun!
Did I mention we're in a the middle of a blizzard???!



So I call my OB on monday, first thing (because I'm a good little patient)
Apparently an ER trip is not something they like to hear so they're all "Come in NOW!!!" and I'm saying "UMMMM there's 50000 feet of snow in my front yard" and they say "Who cares, get your butt in here!"

So I do. Dustin originally wasn't going to accompany me but when he saw the 10 inches of snow on my car (because I was nice enough to ask him to clean it off while I speed showered to get ready) he decided he didn't want me to drive...and I'm eternally grateful!

So we get there, finally!
And I pee in a cup (My new favorite hobby apparently)

and the doctor comes in and says 4+ Ketones!!! You are a horrible (and severely dehydrated) mother!
Not really on the horrible mother part....but that's what I felt like! :(
So we get sent to the hospital because apparently the baby doesn't like swimming around in ketone filled fluid...who knew right!

And I get admitted to labor and delivery, and poked with needles (Apparently this is also becoming a new hobby).
Fluids are started, and then more needles, and IV zofran is given, then phenergan, then finally the pukiness stops, for now.

Let me just add that it's really strange to be on labor and delivery and not actually "Labor" or "deliver"
The lab people, and dietary people that would come in the room always had that silly "AWWWW BEBE!!" grin on their face....and I felt too guilty to correct them.

Since this is a photo blog here's a photo of my IV so you'll feel sorry for me ;)



Sent home from hospital! Souped up my meds, and so far they're really helping! I'm all sad and mopey because I feel like a loser, and I'm driving Dustin crazy. He swears I'm not but I feel like a pain in the butt.


And finally we're up to today!
I will post another post for "todays update"
This one is becoming novelish.


New Years Resolution-Do not suck at being bloggerish. Oh! AND I'm knocked up!

Exactly 13 days after I posted my last update (September 23rd to be exact) I felt like total horse poo.
Husband says "Hahaha!! You're pregnant!"
I say "Dirty Liar!! Doctors tell me that my rotten PCOS cysty-ovaries don't like making eggs...I'll show you by peeing on a stick!"

first one on bottom, second from the next morning because I'm in denial.

Me: Oh no, hubby was right....even bigger Oh boy!!! I'm pregnant! And apparently my husband is some kind of "I know when you're pregnant even though 3 seperate doctors have said you will have no baybeez without super-fertility drugs!!!" guru.

I'm considering renting out his phone number to TTC'ers who are tired of peeing on sticks.

On to the doctor I go, I get to pee in a cup! WOOT! Even after peeing on 5gagillion tests that all tell me, are with child. I still get paranoid that the doctor's going to say "GET OUT OF HERE stoopid infertile!! Stop wasting our time!"
But nope, she says "You are indeed pregnant!" I say "WOO!!!" Then take my free magazines and run away!

Two weeks later, I started emotional breakdown, a freaked out husband, and a cry-bag phone call later, I get an ultrasound!!!

Would you look at that!!! Its a beautiful nugget! And it has a heartbeat, my near blind self didn't see it but the ultrasound tech swore it was there so who would I be to call her a liar...since I'm 99% sure I'm legally blind but too stubborn to go to the eye doctor! Doctor says "Everything's great and you're a paranoid weiner" I'm pretty sure that's what she said...or maybe I'm paraphrasing.
So this is baby E's first photo shoot, he/she measures in at a whopping 0.5cm in length with a heartbeat of 123.
Im in love!


Fast forward!!! Hello moooorning sickness!
Goodbye 4 pounds that I gained in my initial "OMGZ I'm pregnant so I can eat everything I see" phase.
Hello Toast...and crackers...and toilet bowl.

And another ultrasound!!!!

WOW! What a difference two weeks will make! Goodbye nugget-Hello Baby!! Get a script for Zofran for the crazy pukes. I find out that without insurance it can cost up to $2000 (No, that's not a typo) for a 30 pill supply....thank GOD for crappy Wellmont insurance, 12 bucks for no pukes???? Yes please!!!

Baby E is now measuring up at an amaaaaazing 2cm!! What a fatty ;)
And the heartbeat was a wonderful 178.